To Be or Not

To Be or Not

Here’s something that caught my eye on my cousin-in-laws facebook page this morning.

“I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I am sure it wasn’t an anxiety ridden, people hating, sarcastic person, with a ______ problem.”

The blank is my editing of the original, because I’d guess everyone has some sort of problem that they didn’t intend to have as an adult, whether that be some sort of obsession, addiction, attitude, poor self image, neurosis, phobia or regret. We often call it baggage these days, especially when we are talking other people and their issues, but it could just as easily be true for us as well. What are the pieces of luggage we haul around with us, the ones which destroy trust in “them” or in us? Do we have carry-ons full of unresolved and, to us, sometimes precious anger, rage and vitriol? How much of those feelings and the irrational thoughts that go hand in hand with them find safe harbor in our hearts? I ask that, because we are susceptible to the overwhelming over-load of information which comes at us daily, from the media, from the political world, from the internet and from our facebook friends. That isn’t what we anticipated when we started out to become adults, but it is where we find ourselves too often as time has traveled forward. Can we move back to a time before a time of great anxiety? Are we able to stop being persons who hate other persons? Can we speak without sarcasm at least part of the time? Only if we want to, I mean, truly want to. Can we forgive “them” and ourselves at the same time? Only if we are intentional about who we have become and who we will continue to be as adults in a complicated world; a world where there are more questions than answers. But, it can be done one step, one day at a time.

So, each morning as we rise to face another day in the daunting world of survival, we must ask ourselves, “Who will I be today? And what baggage will I carry with me? Will I hate my neighbor today? Will I despise a friend who I disagree with or not? Will I hold others accountable for that which I do not hold myself accountable? What sin do I carry into the day and how can I atone for it with God and those who irritate the “begeezus” out of me? Can I stop listening for what I want to hear and judging based on that?” Those are tough questions for tough times. And we live in tough times, to be sure.